I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
