Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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