the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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