were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
