i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
