tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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