If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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