How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She said her name was "party"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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