I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
