I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
