My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
should my penis look like a turkey
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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