i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
