I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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