That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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