i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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