is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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