dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
