i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
