Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize