I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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