the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
