Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
