Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Barsexuality is the new black.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
