so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
