If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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