well most of my day revolves around power hour
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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