I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
