She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
