so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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