Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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