Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
