...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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