we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You took a bar mat shot.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So vagazzling was a success
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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