Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
