Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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