the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
