Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
