yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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