saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
