I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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