Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize