I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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