If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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