I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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