I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize