I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
