She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
