Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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