why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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