I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
