His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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