her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
