I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
its not stalking. its research.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
