No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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