I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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