I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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