38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
