Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
