Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
