we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
