my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
