And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
