I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
